When something pivotal happens, it's very easy, almost natural, for the brain to have a negative lens, even if the change is positive. So, if you find change daunting, don't feel disparaged by people telling you, “Just be optimistic. Be grateful. Think positive.” 

It’s not that simple.

A large part of how we process change happens involuntarily and is heavily influenced by our past experiences, neuroplasticity, and our environment. However, we are still autonomous, and we can develop and improve our relationship with change through learning, creating new pathways, and mindful habits. 

Our past experiences and change 

To begin with, what were your past experiences with change like? Were they mostly positive or negative? The answer to this could largely influence your response to change. Neuroscientists posit,"The prefrontal cortex and amygdala, hands-down, is the most important part of the neurobiology of wisdom.”

While the prefrontal cortex is responsible for decision-making, goal-directed behavior, and thought organization processes, the amygdala is largely responsible for emotional responses, remembering how you felt, and fight or flight responses. Bur, when it comes to experiencing change, these parts of the brain can somewhat juxtapose each other. 

For instance, even though the brain could register a change as positive, the brain may simultaneously evoke the way change has made you feel in the past -- hence, mixed emotions. On top of this, it’s easy to feel anxious too, since change can trigger a fight or flight response. 

At times, when our emotions and apprehensions toward change become too overwhelming, we can start to avoid or even sabotage it. We me lean towards the status quo because we want to feel okay. Perhaps the status quo was your only means of survival in the past, and that's nothing to get down on yourself about. However, there are ways to relearn and develop our response to change.

Neuroplasticity and relearning our response to change 

“Learning is essentially something the brain does automatically. As we experience different situations in our everyday life, carry out our day-to-day tasks, encounter problems, and find solutions, those pathways used in our brain most frequently strengthen their connections, forming habits, reinforcing memories, and improving skills.” 

With that being said, guess what? New experiences help us learn, and since the beginning of time, learning has been an essential part of survival. Yes, learning can be uncomfortable, but regret can be even more uncomfortable. 

Mindfulness 

According to a recent survey done on millennials, one of the largest regrets people have is missed opportunities. But, the missed opportunity doesn’t have to be a job, a love interest, or something monumental. You are presented with opportunities to learn every day. Every day is a new day, so you experience change every day. 

And if you have the ability to learn every day, you will always have the opportunity to embrace change.

For tools and options for developing your relationship with change, you can also consult with a professional at BetterHelp.

Cover photo cred: Francesco Moreno, Unsplash