My name is Rakshana, and I’m an anchor, an actress, and a video producer. I also create content, and I showcase my journey on social media. Yet, because of my acne, I used to put on so much makeup before filming. But, after a while, I grew so tired of it. I wanted to be seen for who I was, but this was easier said than done. It took me so much time to accept myself in front of the camera. And people made obscene jokes and comments upon revealing myself, but this is what actually inspired my content.
I began responding to criticism about my appearance in a very sarcastic way. I used to work on a show that did political satire. So, I knew how to make this type of content resonate with others. Actually, satirizing beauty standards has been very healing for me because I’ve had a very difficult journey with self-image.
Since the 8th grade, I’ve struggled with acne, and this has always been a battle. I got a lot of hyperpigmentation too. Even though there were some other girls with pimples, I still felt alone because their bumps wouldn't leave a mark. It made me so self-conscious. I can even remember covering my face when I crossed paths with certain boys.
On top of that, people used to always ask me, “Why is your skin like that? You can try different remedies.” I have had so many pieces of unsolicited advice thrown at me over the years. Before even greeting me, people would ask, “What happened to your face? You can try this or that.” People even recommended putting different types of unsanitary things on my face.
People put a tremendous amount of pressure on me so I went to the doctor and tried so many things. But, this ended up making my skin worse. My face became covered with bumps. And because I work in media and video production, it got to a point where I even cried to my father, “Who would give me a job with this face?”
I felt so rejected, and I did not know how to move past it.
That was a very tough time, and I was battling so much. I knew that most of the time — the standard to be featured in a film was flawless skin, even for a minor role. Fortunately, with the support of my family, I was able to move past this and continue on even though I still face challenges.
For instance, I recently auditioned for a role, and they didn’t call me back. But then, two months later, they called and asked if I still had pimples. I said, “They’ve reduced.” Shortly after, I was asked to send another audition tape. Still, they didn’t call me back. I didn’t receive feedback either.
Even though every audition doesn’t work this way, and yes — people who discover talent not just looks are definitely out there, this was still very disheartening. I was still being criticized about my skin – even by my colleagues. So, it caused me a great deal of anxiety, and I wondered if I would be able to reach my goals.
But, on the other hand, this experience inspired me even more to break beauty standards. It has actually become one of the reasons I’m a video producer and content creator. I know that I am good at acting. I am also good at video producing, and I want to show how complexion doesn’t take away from talent.
Before, I believed that I had to have clear skin and a fair complexion to be successful. I think this even goes back to my experiences from girlhood. In school, those were the girls who achieved attention, and they were the ones boys always fell for. I saw very few boys falling for girls who looked like me, and still, it seems this way. But, now I know that the media has defined beauty for society over the years. That’s why it’s my greatest goal to change this.
Through my digital content and acting, I don’t want to reinforce the feeling of not being good enough or not normal. For example, I don’t make too many posts about treating acne because it could imply to people with acne — “How you look is a problem, and you should be thinking about how to fix it.” Sharing your acne journey is fine, and I have even done this. But, we should also convey that acne is normal and that the person watching is already beautiful.
In reality, treating acne is a choice. But, people with acne are always taught that they are flawed. People battle with different physiological things in their day-to-day lives, and this too, is okay. We shouldn’t place blame on ourselves for something the body is doing on its own. We can’t expect it to be perfect. Acne is real, and you are real. That’s why I want to create videos and feature in films that validate people’s realities. I want my content to showcase that natural beauty is real while perfection is only for satire.